Holy Crap! Didn't expect THIS!

[Trixi]

@newmama -- yeah, that is probably going to be the hardest thing (stopping the independent thinking). Our first year of marriage was a real power struggle as we figured out how to merge.
I now wish more than ever, that we had made it to the conflict resolution post-retrouvaille session. We are going to have a lot to negotiate.

@Lost Rabbit- chip in all you want!! I am actually feeling better to read all your comments. It helps galvanize my resolve that I am going to make this work.

@dday101798--I love the running across the prairie visual! ROFL!My H and I actually DO give each other foot massages and have this whole time. I think that is why I have always felt so confused by him. We clearly didn't hate each other.

@BBJ- yep, I'm Christian and the prodigal son was a good reminder.

Today was tough because my daughter is still missing and is doing really bad things. I have a couple more leads to try to follow, but after that, I'm stumped. She is hanging with hard core drug users and in fact, is clearly addicted herself because they are 'nice' enough to let her stay and crash and then she steals from them. I know that that person is not my "real" daughter. My H and I hope to find her just to say that we know what she has done and is doing, and we love her and if she wants to go to rehab, we'll get her there. After that, there isn't anything we can do. But first I need to find her.

My H talked to his boss and it looks like he has a couple more months at the job plus what sounds like a nice severance package. He has already put feelers out.

My landlord called today to talk about me buying the house. I explained the sitch and asked for a week to figure out if I am really and truly moving back in with my H. I mentioned it to my H and he said we can discuss logistics a little later. What's funny is that last week I had mentally decided I *was* going to buy this house, that I didn't care what I had to do to buy it, I was going to find a way and that was that! and within a few days it's all flipped around. crazy.

I am so used to him changing his mind I am nervous about feeling hopeful... His demeanor has changed, though. He is more willing to commit to when he is coming over. It feels like he is more "here". And tonight, when we were hanging up, he said "I love you". He hasn't closed a phone convo in that way, in for-ev-er!