Might not have made a difference but I would like to think I would have done some things differently.
Now it sounds like your cooking! If it makes you feel any better it probably wouldn't have made any difference except that YOU would have felt better. As far as making a difference in him, forget it. As we say on the MLC board, if you have a bad day, pick yourself up dust yourself off and get moving.
Good to see youre getting lots of useful advice from OP..
My H certainly followed the WAS/MLC first parts to a T.. but he did stop before an A, and as I now know he had depression, if not 100% when he left by the time he started to think about coming back.. He also went to see his brother because he had no connection with his father, he died when H was ten.. his was a childhood dominated by very strong women, and of course Im quite a feisty lassy too! Think he just should have learned to say No way back but never did, and the frustrations just finally boiled over.. I always took it as if he didnt say other wise he agreed but perhaps I shouldnt have been so presumptive!
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W 47 H 47 M 24 T 30
Once lost but now found and happily married again!
I don't mean to hijack but have a questions LFW and OP-
When H was here last, he did that non-stop talking thing about this and that, random stuff. Of course, the whole time he was talking, I was thinking how can you be acting/talking to me like this after you sent me divorce papers so just answered with short replies and was maybe even came across disinterested. Was he maybe just nervous? He is not always that talkative.
IF he does this again the next time I see him, do I act interested in what he is saying? I have read that you should act interested, listen, but not offer any advice etc. but is this the same with MLC?
Yes if you must talk agree pleasantly and validate what he is saying.
"I am sorry you feel that way" "I understand your feeling on that"
Check around I am sure you can get some other validation lines.
Yes if you must talk agree pleasantly and validate what he is saying.
"I am sorry you feel that way" "I understand your feeling on that"
Check around I am sure you can get some other validation lines.
This is how you handle the talking....sometimes just appear interested. The hard part is knowing if it is a cake eating WAS or the first signs of an MLC'er coming out. The WAS might be realizing that he misses his old friend and is trying to reconnect. The MLC on the other hand is starting to see the world around them again....instead of just themselves.
