how do i keep my hope alive?

[trytryagain]

i feel like we are connecting on a different, deeper level. in the past, my H would initiate a break up, then leave, then come barreling back a few weeks later. this time he is cautious and has still not decided what he wants in terms of our M. previously when he was in this state, he wanted me back the second he missed me. it seems that this time he is at least genuinely trying to understand the root of his emotions and has told me that he looks forward to seeing his IC again this week.

he's called me just to talk. he's called me when he's had a rough day and just needed to share it with someone. when he does call, he sends a text or email the next day to thank me for talking with him or having dinner with him. i don't know if it's a good zone to be in, but i feel like he's confiding in me...which is odd, because i'm sort of the "cause" of the problems/hurt, and yet, he's still reaching out.

so it does feel different this time. less like a train barreling through. more like a slow down and proceed with caution.