flowmom | shifting from devastated to rebuilding

[flowmom]

My belief that H is in MLC is based on the following:

• depression has lasted 5 years (on and off)
• H turned 40 last summer, refused any celebration of any kind
• H has the real threat being of debilitated by kidney disease or dying in the medium term (2.5 years ago he was told he'd be on dialysis in 5 years)
• 2 of H's brothers died (17 and 15 years ago) and he never really seemed to have grieved their deaths
• H was the eldest "golden" boy in a family where the parents had very high expectations and where the father was alcoholic (mostly social), workaholic, and physically harsh at times. In other words: unresolved childhood issues.

I can really understand how H would feel that he's "lost himself" and "is this all there is??" because I've had those feelings as well. I think I just feel less hopeless than he does and I have the EQ to not blame H for my feelings (most of the time) and I've spent my time dealing with stuff in therapy.