Hopeless feelings

[Vulcanized]

My fear of D and being alone has stopped me from being strong and standing up for myself. I think I'm finally ready to say enough is enough with him. I still don't want D, however if that is what he chooses, I know I will be ok.

I look at my sitch as H wants D. H keeps threatening D. H actually does very little toward that end other than the HUGE GLARING RED FLAG of OW. Ball is in my court.

I've decided for my own sanity to lob it back at him, hopefully hitting him in the head, jarring some sense into him. I don't want D, but am tired of threat hanging in the air. And like you, I know, with every ounce of my being that regardless of the outcome, I will be happy, complete and not broken by him.

I'm trying to really make H aware of that last statement. It appears that the clearer that becomes to H, the more he doubts himself / fantasyland / OW. He's not talking, so this is purely speculative on my part. But on some level, you just know.