feel like giving up - pt 2

[luvless]

spanish fly? lol

[luvless]

I'm going to pick up my H from airport soon. I feel eek about seeing him but I am going to be pleasant (and yes that means body language too)

He leaves tomorrow or friday for the next trip. I wish he realized what being gone three weeks out of the month is doing to us...and our family. I know he loves it and is a great escape for him. I wish I was as lucky.

Anyway, I am going to make a nice dinner for the kids and relax tonight.

[S.T. _I Made It!]

He leaves tomorrow or friday for the next trip. I wish he realized what being gone three weeks out of the month is doing to us...and our family. I know he loves it and is a great escape for him. I wish I was as lucky.

do you realize what will likely happen a year from now if you don't start getting your head in the game? He'll be gone ALL the time.

and, what are you doing to be as lucky? I recall you going out with a friend recently, so what else? you are still too focused on him. and when you went out with your friend, are you focused on what crap your H does, or are you focused on having a good time and enjoying yourself. ??

[luvless]

ST - Yes I have focused on me and my future. I have to!

I know it sounds like a rant - maybe it was - and it sounds like I want him around but it's best he's gone more right now.

I've had a bad couple days but I'm better. Hey..I haven't looked at our cell phone bill or our american express account to see how much he's spending - now I'd consider that Not focusing on him don't ya think?

[luvless]

Update

H was actually home yesterday. I picked him up from the airport early. I decided I would be nice and ask him about his trip (not quiet like usual) We got home before kids came in. He said, "hey did you get those pics I sent you?" I said, "oh I haven't had a chance to look at them." We looked at pics when kids came in and he was going on about his trip and said, "we have to go Luv" (talking about seeing the sears tower in chicago)

I made an appt to do our taxes so we did that. Then afterwards we went to dinner just he and I because the kids were busy with school stuff. While at dinner he says, "this was fun." We had a couple beers and some good food at our favorite mexican restaurant.

We went home and watched the olympics for a bit then I went to my room and he fell asleep on the couch.

This morning I took him to airport and I talked to him as if. He got out of the car and came around to my side to give me a hug...I should be so grateful (i know i know - sarcasm

I don't know if ow is on this trip...don't wanna know. I miss my H.

Luv

[S.T. _I Made It!]

that last post was one of the best ones I've seen. except your sarcasm at the end. quit that!

do you really think him wanting to spend time with you, telling you nice things are all just an evil ploy? I think not.

so continue doing what works.

I haven't looked at our cell phone bill or our american express account to see how much he's spending - now I'd consider that Not focusing on him

I decided I would be nice and ask him about his trip (not quiet like usual)

these are good things, good job! now keep focusing on you enjoying your life. you want him to be drawn back into your life right??? so you need to SHOW him why he should be drawn back in.

[luvless]

do you really think him wanting to spend time with you, telling you nice things are all just an evil ploy? I think not.


Hey ST - yeah, I do think any "nice" behavior on his behalf is out of guilt. I'm sorry but that's what I know and how I feel.

I'm going to keep being nice but yet pull away. I want him to realize I am not going to wait forever...so that is my goal.

I am getting better on focusing on Me.

3 things today

1 - work out
2 - pedicure
3 - dinner with a good friend

Thanks again for your input ST.

[luvless]

Hi guys,

I got up way too early this morning. I wake up alot during the night. I just haven't had any peaceful sleep in a long time.

It's a beautiful clear blue sky day in Cali (it rained like heck yesterday) so I feel like getting out today. I'm going to go shopping!

I was looking at pics this morning on my computer and I see my H in them and I think "who is this man and do I even know him?" - weird.

Ok...here's my 3 things

1 - shopping
2 - have lunch with a friend
3 - work out or walk the park

Luv

[HallesComment]

I was looking at pics this morning on my computer and I see my H in them and I think "who is this man and do I even know him?" - weird.


I do the same thing, but I think, "did I ever know him at all?"

[mrbt]

Same thing for me this morning. Woke up early, looking at pics. She's still around but her body is occupied by an alien life form