At some point when you feel that you have made the transition from a SSM to a "normal" sex life with the standard amount of marital troubles and challenges, maybe you could add some comments to Bagheera's sticky topic, "The Four Phases of SSM Recovery." Your post makes it sound like you have made some breakthroughs and significant progress between you and your wife.
In particular information that shares the time it took you and your wife to reach those phases that Bagheera describes and any key events, books that helped you at various stages.
Until I started seeing progress with my wife (I still feel like I am in an SSM, but just not quite as starved as I was a few months ago), one of the things that I really struggled with was how long change takes (if one is lucky enough for SSM recovery to happen) and what were reasonable goals.
>43 years of marriage--My wife and I are now closer than we have been in decades. I believe that my SSM is over.
