MSH, your sitch is always perplexing to me. I do agree reconciling/w your W is the best thing for everyone (obviously) but I still worry how all of this is going to effect D13 in the long run. Remember, you are all D13 has right now and you do not want to damage that.
Perplexing is an understatement for sure. I actually just got off the phone with my D13's therapist. D13 got very mad last night at me and was still mad this morning, specifically for being "nice" to Mom. If I did not know better I would say my daughter has been reading posts from puppy, allenA, gucci and others. Everything is black and white, right and wrong and there is no grey areas. (Not discounting anything these wise DBer say, their advice is very clearcut is my correlation here)
Funny thing is I am to do the same thing with my D13 as I am doing with my W, listen, validate, let her express her feelings. Her therapist actually suggested using the words "I am sorry you feel that way.....". I actually had time to tell my D13's therapist more about MLC and what I am doing and my attitude towards trying to save my M. Therapist said it was good that she has better understanding of where I am at so that she can more effectively work with my D13.
I am taking her therapist, heartsblessing's stages and some other things from the MLC resources. I wanted to recomend some books on MLC so that she may read up to get a better understanding of what my W is going through. Any suggestions out there???
Last edited by missherlove; 02/23/1009:18 PM.
Formerly "missherlove"
Me49 XW49 M17 T19 S16 D20
Expose yourself to your deepest fear; after that, fear has no power, and the fear of freedom shrinks and vanishes. You are free.
