Sharing My Story - Need Support

[newmama]

Anne, I am feeling success in the sense of at the MINIMUM stalling the divorce. It has been 4 months since he brought it up. No sign of D in sight. But no sign of reconciliation in sight either!

I really really recommend reading those books because they flush out the strategies in detail and you can pick and choose what matches your situation. I also got Getting Through to the Man You Love also by MWD. (Of course I am not using it yet- but the main point is to get your man to improve 1) BE SPECIFIC with what you want him to do- do not expect him to pick up on hints and 2) PRAISE HIM for when he does stuff...praise a lot. Men's egoes are more fragile than women's. But we need men!!! (not dissing- women are definitely a little more moody than men so I am able to criticize both sexes equally))

Amazon has her books, too, for cheaper. But they arrived very quickly, like in 3 days, when I ordered them from this website.

And 180 list is a general list but 180 is actually intended to mean whatever you were doing before that DID NOT WORK, do the opposite of. Even MWD says that if you were distant and cold before, and the 180 list says to be distant, then you are not doing a 180, kwim? Start being warm and watch what happens. (for example)

OK and MWD says to think of your changes in behavior as a human experiment. You try one or 2 strategies for 1-2 weeks (i.e. praising him for doing stuff or being busy) and monitor results. If he starts acting in positive ways that include "pursuing" you, then do more of the same.


Also what are yours and his love languages? Just google it if you don't know what I am asking :-)

And what self improvements are you putting into place so far?

Sorry for all of the info and long post!