LIMBO NO MO!

[givingitmyall]

CG,

You are spot on!

I was just trying to say (in a terrible fashion, lol!) that sometimes people think an ordeal is easier due to a profession.

It isn't. I love(ed?) my W and despite my profession, this is gut wrenching to know the hurt that is coming for my children. And, for what?!

So while you understand how the law works and what will take place and that is not scary to you as you are familiar with the process it does make you sad. You may not be scared to see a court document like I was but you are sad for the reasons it exists.

Yep. I am sad about this. I'm moving on and know I'll be ok, but that's no free pass on the sadness. Time will help.

Please don't think I was disagreeing with you at all in my prior post. I wasn't. And I know what you meant.

Thanks for your thoughts. You have a very good head on your shoulders.

[CityGirl]

Well, I do have a head, how "good" it can be remains to be seen

Sometimes I post something that makes perfect sense in my head and when I go back and read even I say WHAT?

This entire process (both the emotional and legal side) has so many layers sometimes it can be overwhelming (or at least it was to me).

We all will be okay one day (right? )

[givingitmyall]

We all will be okay one day (right? )

YES! We will.

And I think the fact we ask that question shows we understand the potential downside in the situation, which is more than most of the WAS's can say. We have an appreciation for the risk inherent in their decision. What we choose to allow to happen as a result of their decision is OUR choice.

Since most WAS's don't have an appreciation for the consequences of their decision, they are much less prepared than us to deal with them.

But, yes, we WILL be ok. Because WE get to decide that.

[CityGirl]

While it is something we all gained via an awful situation (being left in a marriage) I do believe the LBS has gains.

For the first time in my life I have really learned to see and examine things from the other side. And I think it was Jeff who said it is important to do so not just through "your lens" but really see it from the other side.

My IRL divorce support group really cements that for me. While their marriages may end all the members really can walk away knowing they learned how to see things from all angles. I rarely think the WAS ever gets to that place.

[Gnosis]

And, my mindset is in the wrong place. It IS about what I want. And what is best for the kids.

Yep, that's all I was trying to say. Glad someone managed to get the message across better than me.

[givingitmyall]

And, my mindset is in the wrong place. It IS about what I want. And what is best for the kids.

Yep, that's all I was trying to say. Glad someone managed to get the message across better than me.

No, I gathered that from you too yesterday.

[Drew]

I'm not telling you that you should do anything that I did. My point is that the D part really needs to be separate from any DBing that you are doing. Unfortunately, it is a business interaction. You need to cut a deal that you will be happy with for the rest of your life. That needs to be your mindset. Now, with that in mind, who do you want taking control, her or you?? Talk to your L. Tell him or her what you want. And from here on forward, let your L represent you. I don't want to come across as pro D here. Please don't misinterpret. I just want to make sure you are protecting yourself. It's soo important. I know many people that didn't. I was lucky.

As it was so eloquently put to me: You worry about the marriage. Let the lawyers worry about the divorce

[Gardener]

gima,

But, I do miss having a loving R - being loved and loving that woman.

I know.

After months of anguish, though, that kind of feeling, statement in my heart would end with a feeling of "as opposed to this (present) woman." (sigh).

[Gardener]

Comments welcome.

None needed.

[givingitmyall]

Comments welcome.

None needed.

Thanks G. Much better today. Focusing on me, the kids and what I want.