How do I expose the affair

[newmama]

I prefer something like "Etiher YOU are done with her, OR WE are done with YOU"

All I know from my sitch is I gave the ultimatum TWICE and...here I am still waiting for him to end the A.

So I think Puppy's approved message of

"when you are done with OW and agree to NC we can talk"

does a good job of
1) setting a boundary (no talk until then)
2) not sounding like mb will divorce or will wait...just leaves it open but still sending the message that this is not okay
3) gives mb control

ultimatums can backfire if the BS won't follow through on the Divorce/separation, etc. (blushing as I know )

however...IF it is legal, I think the above message combined with leaving the house could make a great impact! I know I said she should keep staying there, but you are right- that is more on emotional principle than good strategy. Also, it would be easier to not have to pack and move...

Originally, at 7 months pregnant, I was going to find an apartment and leave. But was talked out of it by friends and family who said "you are PREGNANT! Why should YOU leave?" But I think he would have moved in with OW anyway! So it didn't make a difference. Oops, just sharing.