Stepping out and Stepping UP!

[cagzmom]

My x just keeps spinning in the same circle.. round and round. Nothing has changed with him... NOTHING

When he first left I was surprised for so long.. I thought he was "better" than who he really was. I always knew he was selfish... but he took it to such higher levels.. it continually surprised me.

since he and bimbo b really broke up he has gone through so many woman.. Short term relationships - or whatever you want to call the.. Thinking right now I think I know of at LEAST 6 or possibly 7...at least he has only introduced d13 to 3 of them! BUT STILL...good grief!

I know for many your x left and is still with ow. AND THAT WAS HELL!! I remember the hurt.. But there is this very strange level of hurt that happens with this type of leaving...

He left
He had something with a very young girl
They break up - still doesn't "want me"
he goes from woman to woman - none work and he still "doesnt want me."

I think I am ok with it.. It is wierd. But it does get to you after awhile.

I dont date. NOT that I am oppossed to it.. just dont have the time. HE dates - lots.

I dont knwo what I am really feeling today. Confused about some other stuff in my life. Wondering about what I am doing - and where I am going. Trying to be a good mom -

I realized TODAY how much CRAP I did through this thing of my own. The stupid mistakes. The stupid chocies that I made during the last 3 years. AND TODAY they are in my face. I dont like it....

just a hard day.