I know we are not suppose to speculate where in the process are MLC'ers are but could I ask if you think that Upsides's H is in the acceptance phase?
OP, this is my take on Upside's situation; I honestly had to ask for guidance as I am unable on my own to tell where a person is in this unless I'm shown by God:
Upside's husband appears to be coming out of Withdrawal; and he's coming more slowly than he has each time he's attempted to come out. They have been at this place in his journey many times, and because of one or the other...he ran back in, but each time it was not as far, but time was added on for the running; don't ask me why that is..it just works that way.
When she went dark for a month, it actually let him know he couldn't play this anymore and shortened his run back within this stage and if I'm not mistaken he admitted that this was causing problems. As he comes forward, more and more, she will see him go through the disintegration of personality, and the children of his issues will appear, but their reconnection will become nearly total before this happens. The reconnection between must be strong enough to withstand the appearance of the "children", as this will be an emotional time for both husband and wife. Through that part of the journey the connection between the two will complete itself, as the sharing will bring them together once again..the two will become one, totally and literally.
I'm sorry, OP, I'm not getting anymore on Upside's husband...I think this is enough for now, anyway.. too much, and it will overload her. That doesn't mean that he won't be served with an ultimatum just that one time..she may have to do this more than the once, to keep bringing him firmly forward into the light. She is doing well, strong in confidence, has gotten all she's supposed to get in relation to her and her husband's situation..and she's almost ready to begin the journey forward with him to wholeness of their marriage. Understandably, there are some doubts within her heart at times, but those will be worked through as her husband continues to come forward. She is a strong, well balanced lady, who's learned her lessons well..and feels the need to help others with the wisdom she's learned from this thus far...and there's more to learn.
You asked about Upside's husband, not her, LOL..but I was getting things on her, too..I think it's because she's there, too, and involved in his journey..as she always has been.
Hope this helps.
Much love, HB
Remember, as each person is different, every MLC/Transition is different..what works for one may not work for another. Most of the time it is trial and error for ALL involved.
