I wasn't coming down on you. Sorry if it came across that way. I think we all hope in a way (yes, I realize this sounds sick) that our spouses are clinically depressed because that has a remedy and a clear path to resolution.
Clinical depression is very serious and the signs are very obvious as it becomes too exhausting to hide them. I can say this because I lived it for a long time. It was a terrible internal battle with me because I tried SO HARD to hide my clinical depression it eventually manifested into a clinical panic disorder.
Sometimes I hear people say... oh, I am so depressed and I do feel for them. But clinical depression, at least for me, made tasks such as waking up, getting out of bed, showering and basic life things impossible. I became a shell of a person and tried so hard to "be normal" and get so upset when I failed to "be normal" the anxiety started. The more I tried to hide the anxiety the worse it became until full panic mode started. I became afraid to leave my house, go outside, walk my dog, ride in the elevator...
We *all* want a reason for our WAS behavior and so often I hear depression or bi polar as the answer. It usually isn't. At least not at a clinical/medical level (of course sometimes it is but not as often as people would hope in this situation).
