I believe in gathering good intel, and when it confirms an affair, CALL IT SUCH.
In the absence of that, I think it's important to let the wayward spouse know that even if it's "just" an "inappropriate relationship," that it is STILL entirely UNACCEPTABLE to put a "friend" before your spouse.
I think the phone records are enough to prove its not just friends... I honeslty feel that mates do not NEED to resort to evidence or logic, that there's a shorthand there.. they KNOW the truth and argument indignifies thier companionship.
I would just play it like
----- I'm your wife. I KNOW. You are NOT fooling me, your children, or anyone. If you aren't man enough to be FULLY HONEST about what you are doing when you walk out that door then do NOT talk to me... there is NO POINT in us talking if you are going to lie.. so LEAVE until you are man enough to tell the truth -----
This says a few things
1. Lies are not tolerated 2. Lies are not believed to be true 3. Lies hurt your family 4. Lies are childish 5. Lies and communication cannot happen in the same exchange.. 6. Tell the truth or don't talk to me at all
