IMO, selfish is expecting to be waited on hand and foot without doing anything in return.
It is constantly and always, giving of yourself, without giving TO yourself, and then complaining and becoming the martyr.
It is demanding that your needs be met, without any concern for meeting someone else's needs in the way that they need you to do it.
It is not knowing how you need your needs to be met, or even necessarily what your own needs are, and then getting upset because someone doesn't meet them.
It is giving and doing, only with an expected outcome.
That is selfish.
What is not selfish...
Giving your MLC spouse space, while you work on yourself, because at this point in time, that is the need that she needs met, even if it doesn't "feel" right to you, is not selfish.
However, sitting and waiting only, doing nothing to make yourself better, is selfish.
Recognizing your own needs and meeting them yourself, even if that means saying "hey, I need an hour of silence, make a hot dog if you are hungry, cuz I'm going to take a bath (or whatever)" to your kids and returning to them refreshed and rejuvinated, is not selfish.
Excellent, Cat !!!
Formerly "missherlove"
Me49 XW49 M17 T19 S16 D20
Expose yourself to your deepest fear; after that, fear has no power, and the fear of freedom shrinks and vanishes. You are free.
