Struggling with Hope

[ericmsant2]

Bradley - thank you for your response and words of comfort. I know you know how I feel.

quote]Only now am I realizing the pain that she was in-- though the pain she was in was causing me, and continues to cause me great pain-- if you can start to come at it from the side of compassion (again, very hard while you are hurting)... sometimes it helps. and the side effect is she will notice it. [/quote]

I know that I need to understand what she is going thru. I really saw her pain (portrayed as anger of course) in our last interaction. I fall into the same trap as you (it is not good enough for me). The one thing that I am realizing is that trying to get her to see the new me and reconsider this is somewhat disrespectfull for what she feels and what she is going thru. I have been at this for 6 months and am not making the type of progress that I would like.

My wife was my connection to the world... now without her I'm fairly alone--

Boy do I know how you feel. Almost all of my friends were mutual friends who have now sided with her. I have had to distance myself, which has left me pretty damn lonely. I have thought about meeting someone but I know deep down inside of me that that is running away from my problem. I'm still working on creating new friendships but it is tough.

I'm also working on being a better dad.

This is my NUMBER 1 priority right now although I do think that I may be pressing a little. I'm trying to find the right balance between time for me and time for them. I'm getting close.

but it hurts like nothing else... worst thing I've ever been through.

I could not agree more. This is pain that I have never felt before. But I know that from this pain I will emerge a stronger and better person. The biggest issues for me is patience. This is a long process and for an inpatient control freak a very tough one.

Once again, thanks for your response. Feel free to look me up on the alt.

God Bless
Eric