Yes, I think I should have made that clear in the post. He stopped contacting/seeing other woman after I found out about the affair. I put a tracer thing on his computer and my computer so I could see what he was doing (he didnt know about this) and he was not contacting her and hasnt been.
I stopped really monitoring his computer at all several months after the affair becuase I had started to trust him again. That is when he started to contct prosittutes again but I didnt find out until last month. He has only actually visited a prositute 5 times but I had conversations hundreds of times and masterbated to the conversations.
I have not read either of those books - do you think they would help? I got the 180 rules online.
you are right, he didn't leave. It is just so confusing because one second he wants a divorce nd then the other second he loves me, loves spending time with me. It's just hard to understand all of that. It is also making the 18o rules more difficult - it says dont to say "i love you" - so if he says "I love you" I'm just supposed to not respond. Also, he still interacts with me, gets excited to tell me things, wants to do things with me - am I just supposed to act like I dont want to do those things even though I take those things as an indication of him making an effort?