Is there hope?

[chatterbug]

One more thing when friends talk to you and say stuff about the wife.

You show that civil, nice and full of grace person that you are.

You state that you let her go. Your working on your self. Its sad to see such a strong person fall so far. Since she is your friend as well. I hope that you will be able to support her when she hits rock bottom like your supporting me for now.

And then you thank them for listening.

If its a real close friend who is your friend. Then talk openly about everything.

You can do this Maynard. You can make it through this if you want.

Better yourself. Stop worrying about your wife. She made her choices. Let her live with them. Learn to be with your self.

Enjoy your evening.

And leave phones at home.

[jasper67]

I agree on letting it destroy me. And I agree that it's my own fault.

As for the contact- when it became known to me of the lies, I figured it would be best to set the boundary and remove the dogs/ W from my life. I know that there will be two other interactions at least- the move and D .

I'm not sure what I'll do about the move. This weekend I can pack her things and get them into the garage. Then decide whether or not to be there when it's time for her to pick them up.

As much as I would like for things to work out, W is not the person I know and love, and that's something I can now accept- now more push/pull...silence then "kindness"...silence then false promises...and lies lies lies.

Thanks a buch Cutter

[chatterbug]

Ok Maynard. I understand. Remove yourself from the vortex.
Smart choice. Right now she is a parasite. And she will take what she can with no remorse. IT IS VERY WISE TO REMOVE YOURSELF FROM THAT.

[jasper67]

Cutter- I am still reading Codependant no more- I have taken notes and already outlined some of the chapter.

I feel like there is something wrong w/ me-I see an IC I share honestly, bu I cannot seem to get W out of my mind.

I suppose it's out of frustration - I know that my sitch is the same as most other WAW's w/ A's- I thought I had been healing-

I suppose it's just the wounds of betrayal, and abandonment- the fact that a R can sour to this extreme defies my belief in Love and Friendship.

I'm really hopeful that the removal of a common element (dogs) can help get some more distance into the sitch.

I can't wait to GAL tonight

[chatterbug]

I suppose it's just the wounds of betrayal, and abandonment- the fact that a R can sour to this extreme defies my belief in Love and Friendship.

And yet. Here you are talking with someone 2000 miles away who will take time out of his day to check in on you. Listen to you, offer advice, take advice, and just be a friend. What ever you need. As I know you would do the same.

I got ya on the alt.

Have you ever thought of using some of your work's resources to deal with your wife's issues?

[jasper67]

I have thought, and I have even contemplated the blessing it would be as she could seek great treatment at a family rate- problem is that's the last thing she wants at this point.

I've been cosulted by a few mutual friends who assured me it would be wrong for me to come forward w/ info or proof of W's "issue".

I'm on the fence and will see what happens- if that info even materializes.

In the meantime- I really am working on letting go of the sitch- it's beyond comprehension and I can't keep trying to make any sense of it. Listen to me- obv I'm feeling centered right now...4 hours ago I was in tears on the phone w/ my mom.

Still working on getting my home comp on-line- we did a memory dump and the driver isn't loaded w/ a network card, so I'm SOL this weekend.


Best

[jasper67]

Update-

After exposing R w/ OM2- I was met by the FB status update of W and OM2 being in a R.

Awesome-

W texted me yesterday asking that I take care of one of the dogs.

When we spoke about it I told her I would not help her while she was pursuing a R or in a R with another man while married.

She said she understands- and that she wasn't pursuing a R before-

Thankfully we side-stepped an argument- it doesn't matter if she was or was not- obv if she's in one now, she was open to it happening.

I feel some relief knowing that W has done what she's done- I no longer need to spend any energy trying to "figure things out" or exposing the R.

I am happy for W if this is what she wants. I do not support and R's when one person is still M.

In a way I can't believe she would have the audacity to post such a thing- who would be proud of being involved w/ another person while still M?

I know that in her mind the M is dead and will soon be dissolved, but even still-

Enough out of me- gonna have a good day!

[jasper67]

started a new thread in Infidelity- will try to post a link.

I'm ready to Protest the A to MIL- I never get anywhere w/ her. It's sad b/c W's father dies when she was young, I feel like if he were still around I would have had a good bond w/ him and W would have a very diff view on M and fidelity.

[jasper67]

started a new thread in Infidelity- will try to post a link.

I'm ready to Protest the A to MIL- I never get anywhere w/ her. It's sad b/c W's father dies when she was young, I feel like if he were still around I would have had a good bond w/ him and W would have a very diff view on M and fidelity.

W officially in R w/ OM

[chatterbug]

look a link