See, your post above (the conversation last night) really says to me (again, my opinion is just that) how terribly manipulative your W is.
She stated she needs time alone to decompress. In a marriage sometimes you have to consider the needs of others as well as your own and we ALL know that is a tricky balance. HOWEVER she made it clear she is unwilling to consider YOUR needs by stating what she will and will not change (having lunch, working out). She wants to decompress on her terms? Why is that you think?
You have offered her *something* that will give her space (no lunches, no gym time) yet she dictated to you those things must remain. She wants what she wants on her terms and is unwilling to change things. Logic would say there is a reason for that. I bet part of the reason is a control issue but I do think there is more.
Let her sit in the basement all night. Also let her know that you no longer care to be disturbed once she decides to come to bed. In the future if she is not done "decompressing" by the time you go to bed it is best for her to sleep elsewhere so you are not disturbed.
