It has nothing to do with me "liking" something. It is simply operating in reality. All of those reasons you stated (her parents not being welcoming to the children, the house not being equipped to handle children) are valid. However your W's life is a bit different now, no? You will need to start remembering that on a day to day basis. This isn't about you or your girls (the trip I mean) it is about your W and your W has not really offered anything of value to you or the marriage for a very long time. When people stop offering themselves to their spouses and stop adding value to the family unit any and all bets are off.
Take it a step further. Your W knows how you feel about visiting her parents so it is a very easy "front" as she knows you won't make too much noise about it since you don't like it. Did your W have the courtesy or respect to sit down with you, talk about dates, childcare and so on BEFORE she starting planning this trip in her head or did she let you know after the fact?
You are basing things on what used to exist. Your W adding value to the family unit and the marriage. She has chosen not to do those things anymore so all her actions (IMO) have motivation and the motivation *may* have changed from previous years.
She knows you don't want to go so it is very easy for her to go.
I know you are not detached! I kinda figured that when you made post after post about if you should go out for ice cream! LOL! It takes a while. You do seem to have a need to control the situation and like I said before... I think it would be good for you to leave your work persona at work and focus on a more relaxed atmosphere at home for YOU.
Just remember, your W has CHOSEN to stop adding value to the marriage and the family. Small bits of "good" aren't good enough. Don't push her but let YOUR actions speak for themselves.
