Isn't she getting all the good parts of me, without having to commit to out marriage? Please explain.
You're separated, do you want her back or not? You don't have to be an a$$hole to be a real man.
You make it sound like getting all the good parts of you is something alien to your relationship.
In the end, marriage or divorce, it's just a piece of paper, a document, a certificate.
YOU are working on your relationship. YOU are making you better, you can't control what she does, obviously (and maybe not so "obvious" to alot of people on these forums).
All you can do is work on you but the catch is, you can't work on you to get her back. You work on you because you want to be better, you realized that the life you were living wasn't great, you weren't do great things, integrity wasn't part of your package, etc.
Another thing that probably wasn't part of the package before was FUN.
How about having FUN? Novel idea.
Go on the trip, you have nothing to lose. Your wife wants to go on a vacation with just you without the kids, I'm sure sex will be part of the equation too, enjoy yourself without the pressures of relationship issues, commitment, marriage, divorce - act as if you starting to see her for the first time all over again - you guys didn't worry about relationship issues back then before you got married. You just went out and had fun, so many people lose sight of that, marriage can make people really boring.
Yes go on the trip, have fun, and do it for you, not because you're trying to impress her or win her back, just do it for you, have fun with her, be young again.
You don't have a guaranteed life span, we can all go at any time, make sure you spend your time wisely.
And never mind this business about "getting all the good parts of you", you have mentioned repeatedly that she still comes over to cook dinner for you and the kids, she's giving you what she can right now.
Let go of pressuring her to be something she can't be, people change, including you.
