Ring On or Ring Off????

[ddstartingover]

Some days I think I've really screwed all of this up by trying to be dark or NC. Our communication is so very poor right now, I am sure it causes his anger to flare.

I sent him TM yesterday that bank called and wanted him to call back. He answers "what in the He** is that about?" I say, I don't know, I can try to call, but they asked for you. I wrote: I know I haven't made any unusual charges. He answers: Neither have I.....I answer: I know we aren't maxed out.....so I was left thinking, he thinks I'm accusing him of making unusual charges.....but really, I was just relaying a message. They usually only call if they see unusual activity on our card....meant NOTHING by my text.....and they asked that he call, not he or I......but can't explain that IN A TEXT. I later send TM asking if he wants me to try to call and he answers: they just wanted to sell us a home equity loan. UGGGHHHHH............

Saw more anger over the weekend and yesterday when he came to get S for ball practice he parked as if he wasn't going to get out, but just wait for S. S opened door and reminded him that we were waiting on the shoes he was bringing....He throws them up on the porch to S (then land in snow and get wet)......he then reluctantly came up to get D's backpack since he would need it because he would be taking them to school today.

I try not to spend too much time wondering if he's contacted the L that he says he's planning to contact....but it's on my mind. I still have my appt. scheduled for 3/2. I know I HAVE to go, but will never believe that this should be happening.

Despite all of this, my mind IS in a better place and I do think I will be able to let him go if I have to.