Yesterday I had a friend knock some since into me. Stop being nice to him, he is just playing you and you are letting him. At first I was mad at her, but then it hit me that she was right just like all of you have been telling me. It's time for me to stand up for myself, and not let this a$$ walk all over me anymore.
The NC hasn't been working very well, with work, school, and kids I can't really go hide out at my safe place. However, I suddenly feel stronger then I ever have during this whole thing. I've been so worried about ignoring him and making sure I was really nice to him. And get this, telling him I believe that he is just friends with OW. I'm done doing that. I will see him tonight after school. If he says one word to me about us (which is usually "I can't see how it will ever work"), I want to say "It's not going to work as long as you believe that" and "Your relationship with this OW is hurting me and the rest of the family. When your done with her and agree to NC, we can talk". PLEASE advice on this?
I've never really done this with him before; because I was always so afraid he would run straight to his L and file the papers. However, now I know that no matter what his reaction, it's out of my control. And I'm no longer afraid of D.
MB,
Replace the word "nice" with the word "civil," and you will have how you should be treating him.
As for the rest of your post, you are DEAD ON. By agreeing with his "just friends" b.s., you are enabling his poor decisions, and hurting yourself and your own family. Time to lose the fear, and do what you have to do, in my opinion.
See Pearlharbor's and Britt 54's threads for powerful examples of what "I've had enough" can do for your resolve.
