I'm confused. Your wife has ceased all contact with your daughter, but she doesn't like when you talk to your daughter?? Who does this daughter live with??
Exposing to adult children is perfectly reasonable, and I did it myself. "I decided that I would no longer lie to cover up your affair" and "I felt she had a right to know" are your best responses to this. The "blaming" is classic infidelity "SCRIPT," and I'd suggest you keep posting here, because it will be easier to follow your sitch and get the best advice for dealing with it.
