Is this piecing?

[Freckle6]

Aww, sweetie, you're the one doing all the hard work.

Years ago when I was here the first time, after about 6 months or so I figured out the DBing isn't really about saving your M. Sure, there's some good advice on how to stop killing it further, but we're lured in here by the hope we can make everything all better.

IMO, DBing is really about saving yourself. How to make yourself a better person and being part of a community here where the people understand your pain and give their advice, friendship, support, and shoulders for as long as you need them for whichever road you chose--whether you continue standing or whether you chose to move on at some point.

I know you think you're near a point where you might have to make a decision, but I think you might be looking at the wrong decision. Or at least looking at it in the wrong way.

I think your "decision" should actually be a realization that you need to detach yourself from him. Whether you still want him as a H or not shouldn't change your behavior or actions towards him. Like continuing to not take his bait, changing up how you interact with him like texting him instead when he ignores you talking, etc. because whatever happens, you're going to have to have some sort of relationship with him because of your son and ideally you'd like those interactions to be as pleasant as possible, right?

So, since any "decision" isn't going to change what you're doing, you don't really need to decide a yes or no as to your future with him. You can simply decide to leave it up to fate, God, Puxatawney Phil, or the Loch Ness Monster for now. To keep evolving and working on yourself and what you *can* control and letting go of what you can't control.