Here is an email I woke up to this morning. I am a bit angry at this email, please tell me what to do if I want to save my M.
I’ve been going over this in my head for over a week now and I don’t know how to just say it. First I’m sorry, for the lies, the pain, the mistakes and the things you had to give up for me. I truly would never intentionally hurt you but I know I have and for that I apologize. I guess what it boils down to is: I know I didn’t make you happy and you deserve better. Honesty, stability, forgiveness, all things I couldn’t do. We had many great times but the bad was really bad and it was getting worse and worse everyday. I want you to be happy T*** and I know I couldn’t do that for you, that’s why I left. I want you to have better, you deserve it and I will not deny you that. And as mad as you are or have been at me I think you feel the same for me and I hope you will see that if you haven’t already. You looked great today, you looked happy, and I was happy for you. Again im sorry for hurting you and I hope this helps answer any questions you might have had. Thank you……
I am so angry and hurt. I think it's selfish and he wants me to say it's okay what he's doing.
Never allow someone to be your priority while allowing yourself to be their option.
Don't respond. It reads like someone who is trying to assuage his guilt by appearing "reasonable" and as if this is a loving act. Really, (he's implying), I did this for YOU.
Bah! My guess is that when you met with him, he saw you looking confident and foxy and he didn't like that at all. This letter is a little poke to rock your world. After all, he's miserable, you should be too in his opinion.
Ignore the email. Do not respond. Picture your H with antennae and a weird alien voice writing this. It's just alien script and therefore has nothing to do with you.
When I was going through this, I gave my H the nickname Phantom of the Opera, and anytime the spew/script showed up, I'd hear the organ playing and sort of giggle to myself. Thinking of Alien H as PotO helped me detach and depersonalize it.
If he pressures you for an answer or ever brings this up in person, then your response is, "I can see how you might feel that way." There's no need to argue or defend; would you try to defend yourself against the words of an alien crazy person? He's the only one who believes it.
SD
Me: 40 H: 43 H had EA from 2/06-9/06 Bomb 5/06 Piecing since 9/2006 3/2008: Boundary setting 7/2009: Boundary crossing~dropped my own bomb. 8/2010: Marriage finally on track!
I am not going to respond. I want to so badly, but what's the point? Do I just give up? Honestly, I can't take this all over the place stuff. I haven't cried in awhile and that's all I can do now.
Never allow someone to be your priority while allowing yourself to be their option.
Bah! My guess is that when you met with him, he saw you looking confident and foxy and he didn't like that at all. This letter is a little poke to rock your world. After all, he's miserable, you should be too in his opinion. SD
sure sounds like it to me - if you respond (in anger or receptive) it is justificaion in his mind either way(also sounds like a try to ease his guilt as well).
M-37 W-36 S-11, S-9, D-4 PA exposed 3/13/10 10/19/10 moving on... most up to date sit
No problem. Good luck with whatever you have going on.
Take Care, Halley.
then start walking away and dont look back. dont talk to him. ignore him if he tries to contact you. pack up all his things and send him an email to pick them up before garbage day. and follow up by starting the divorce procedings. Find yourself a new man.
That Haley is what works.
Your husband will have some serious choices to make. He will be questioning if this EA is worth it, and what he is doing.
Honestly, I can't take this all over the place stuff.
Detach.
You are in control of yourself.
You can control your thoughts, feelings and actions.
Focus on what you can control.
When in doubt don't respond.
Stop feeling and start thinking. What do you want? Why do you want that? How will you get it? Then do it. What you do today creates your future. BE + DO = HAVE.
Cheers
M22,H45,W45 S21/18D12 Retain faith that you will prevail in the end, regardless of the difficulties and at the same time confront the most brutal facts of your current reality, whatever they might be.
My SBXH said the same things..I think you H copied mine (LOL).. turns out mine was right. Your only chance here is to follow the advice given. Sometimes it works out, sometimes it doesn't.
The best way to see if it is ...is to do what these folks are saying.
M:47 M:18 D16, S19 1st S 1/08-5/08 Reconciled/May 7, 2008 Left again Nov 9, 2009 I Filed: Nov 17, 2009 Final: April 14, 2010 EX walked away from kids too
