I feel like I should clarify that I've done more than just sit around an complain, talk, cry, demand etc to change the situation. I've been dealing with this lackluster relationship for a decade already.
what may be different of my sit than others in this forum is that my h was involved with another woman for at least 2 1/2 years 6 months of which we were seperated and h was adimant that he wanted a divorce.
trouble is this woman didn't just appear in that 2 1/2 years she became a customer of h's at least 10 years ago.
I no longer trust him, like him, etc.
I don't want to DO anything anymore to fix things...why should I? I've been trying to make this r work for the past 15 years...I've been listening to his excuses all along and doing my best to just be happy with what little I do get.
I know it's not right to hold onto grudges but the record shows that this man cares little for my feelings.
when I was first preg with son (now 5) I was spotting and not being fully knowledgable in pregnacy issues feared a misscarage...h went to work I went to the er (by the direction of the doctor I spoke to on the phone) ALONE.
years later while preg with dd I went past my due date and needed to go into the hospital for a few tests...h went to work..I went ALONE.
the night h brought me and dd home from the hospital he no sooner walked us in the door and took off for work despite the fact that we planned to have dd at a time of year that we usually took vacation so he wouldn't have to work and could be around to help with son and dd.
when I would drive down for prenatal visits on the way home I'd call or stop by h's work so he could at least see son awake...when I'd ask if he had lunch or wanted to grab a bite with us (not just to eat but to spend the 10 min or so with son and me) he declined.
what makes all this worse is the fact that he had no problem leaving work to drive ow to a cancer treatment, meet her for lunch regularly etc.
This man is capable of being there for someone...with me he chooses to just pay the bills.
we are not compatable and it goes deeper than just the surface sex issue. In fact I think if I were someone else (perhaps more like ow) he would be more affectionate, attentive etc.
It matters not if I ignore him, shower him with love and affection, go about my business happily...
we are just rotting away and he doesn't seem to care.
I tried to address these issues before I discoverd ow and he left...when he came home it seemed like he understood that there was more to a m than just paying the bills and mowing the lawn but that revelation was lost.
I don't want to try anymore...I'm just biding my time.
