Quote: trouble is h has had several epiphanies...things change for a short while but they never seem to last.
This quote right here is exactly why you continue to go to the C.
Everything you said in your post to me...about being able to lead a horse to water...your H pretending everything's ok. I've been there, lived it, done that...unfortunately. I think many of us have...you aren't alone.
But bear with me here...in reading your posts it seems you've got a pretty self-defeatest thing going on. The way it comes across (to me anyway) is that you feel nothing you will do will make a difference...so why try? Am I right about that? I know many of us have felt or still feel that way at times.
You know...going to C just for yourself (and I'm not trying to tell you what to do here) can be a good thing...and not counter-productive if you choose to go for yourself, as long as the picture you paint to the C is a truthful one you are being true to yourself and your family. My C assumed my H must have good qualities afterall...I was there, trying to save my marriage...not have her validate reasons for leaving him.
When I went to C on my own my C tried to help me with my approaches towards my H. Yes, it's true that if you go on your own you are their patient...but they will try to help you with your problem (i.e. marital problems). Whether it be your approach to your H, the lack of communication between the two of you...whatever the problems are that exist between the two of you. But perhaps the C needs to begin with what's going on inside of you...and that's ok. I'm willing to be you have a lot of stuff pent up that needs letting out.
I'm sure you've read many of the posts on here so have no doubt you've seen where plenty of us have told others that you can't sit back and wait on your spouse to change, change has to begin with you. If you can start doing something for yourself (C, working out, painting..whatever) to make yourself feel better your husband is bound to notice a change in you and wonder what's up.
Try that 180 approach, but be your normal nice self about it...he's going to start wondering what's going on.
Am I making any sense here? I'm working on about 2-hrs sleep LOL. So I could just be rambling LOL.
