Quote: A counselor CAN help you with the sexual issues. But first you have to wade through all of the underlying crappola that is in your way...it sucks, but it's true.
I understand the concept of a c being able to help but...you can lead a horse to water...
In order to get my h to go to a c with me after our seperation (and almost d, ow etc) I had to call a d lawyer and schedule an appointment (if I do that again I wont be cancelling the appointment) and once there h had little if anything to say other than everythings going fine, trying to adjust etc.
I'm not afraid of tackeling the issues h just seems to think they'll go away on their own without any talk, effort, action etc.
Though going to a c alone may be benificial it may also be counterproductive...I can very easily paint a picture that shows h and I aren't very compatable and married for the wrong reasons that even a c would take as valid and true. Plus let's face it..if I go to a c myslef I am their patient and they should advise me to do what's best for me not the m or the family.
Quote: Don't give up...there really is hope for you guys. My H was so defensive at first and then our C actually got him to say what he was doing to me/our marriage without him even realizing it, until it was already out of his mouth. Once he heard it from his own lips it was like an epiphany happened for him....so really, don't give up
trouble is h has had several epiphanies...things change for a short while but they never seem to last.
