WAW and 4 kids

[tryingtilDorR]

Guys you are both right. I texted him, not emailed, but same difference I know. It felt good because I got stuff off my chest, but you are right it makes him more important than he needs to be. I guess I kind of feel like I am at the 'nothing to lose' stage. Today he told me he would have me arrested for harassing him. I thought that was great. I told him go for it.

I have flipped flopped a lot the past 2 months as we have circled to the end point (her leaving). I can't seem to hold the rudder on a direction. The 'open relationship' thing was crazy - I thought I could detach enough for the sake of my kids and finances but couldn't do it.

OK here is where I stand today.

We went to mediation. I decided just before going in that I would offer her legal separation (what she wanted) IF she dumps OM once and for all and proves it and agrees to go to some sort of marriage counseling. If not we file for D.

Her answer predictably was NO to my conditions on legal separation, so I told the mediator to do a D filing.

It is all that's left. She wants to move out but doesn't want to pull the trigger on D. She wants me to pay her to help her afford a place. I told her I would only pay her if we file an agreement and she gets a place where the kids can be half time.

We have basically settled on the support amount based upon the formulas and next we need to negotiate child care stuff (who gets them what days a week, etc.). I need to really look at finances closely in order to determine if I can keep our house. She wants me to try and sounds like she is willing to negotiate on support - she wants kids to be able to still live there.

It's done. There is nothing else to do at this point. I left town right after the mediation appt and it is good to be away from her.

This is so true - I have learned the hard way by trying just about everything else BUT give up and I am tired now -

Men who pursue and chase and go wishy washy and keep trying to win a woman who has over and over told him she doesn't want him are destined for failure. No woman can have feelings of love for a man who won't let go and move on without her..