Ok...LL that would be what's called a 180 and that does work for many many people. Give it a shot....but...and I'm going to say this as nicely as possible...try to drop the attitude.
I know how you feel, I've been there...I know what this is like...and it SUCKS!!! But I'm here to tell you if you let him see/feel the resentment and anger that you are building up you're just shooting yourself in the foot.
I know you have told us that you've talked til you're blue in the face...so have I, so has Honeypot I'm willing to bet. The fact is we kept taking the wrong approaches. They key (and the difficult thing) is to find the approach that works for you with him. There is one, so try not to despair about this.
You've been reading the posts on here...so you know there are many people in your situation who have had success. I know you've tried and tried and tried with your H. But the key to success is not to quit trying.
My H was not willing to talk to me a year ago, the more I talked the harder he resisted. Why? Because everything I was saying he was taking as an attack, no matter how gently I said it...or how encouraging I was being.
For us it took a C to get through to him...she was able to say basically the exact thing I had been saying to him...but she slid under his radar...he never would have heard what I was saying.
Do you think your H would consider going to a C with you? Honestly, not just a knee jerk reaction response here...if you said I've made an appointment, I'd like you to go with me...would he consider it at least? Because it sounds to me...from what little I've read that at a minimum you two have a communication issue.
Just guessing...take it for what it's worth ;-) GEL
