Getting Ready For Divorce

[crushed_v95]

I spoke to an attorney this afternoon after I finished work. I have interviewed 3 so far and this guy is who I think I will retain. I will get half of wife's retirement/401K (heh) and a nice chunk of maintenance if I choose to go this route. We also worked out child support and a 50/50 split parenting plan which is apparently encouraged by a new law in my state. I discussed this with my son and daughter over the weekend and they were visibly happy about that possibility.

Less than an hour after arriving home, all Hell broke loose, and the misery just kept flowing for an extended period of time.

Wife chased D15 through the house this afternoon for a full 20 minutes, screaming her head off. The catalyst for this depressing outburst was the fact that my daughter "didn't mop the kitchen floor well enough". Eventually wife confiscated cell phone and ipod.

I suspect the cellphone confiscation is part of a larger ploy to keep D15 from going anywhere with me, since I insist she keep it with her. In any event, D15 doesn't mop the floors perfectly. Well, holy moly, let's not help her out or teach her correct procedures. Yelling and screaming at the top of one's lungs is much more effective.

What fifteen year old is an experienced custodian, I ask you?

This is a regular occurrence in our house, and traditionally it is a cue for me to go out and defuse things. When I do intervene, I am able to "take a punch" for the children and focus wife's anger toward me. Usually she tells me that it is my fault that the children are lazy, have no work ethic, worthless, have no respect for her, etc. etc. ad infinitum.

Rather than intervene, I sat on the phone with a supportive friend and we listened to the tirade. About two years ago wife may have been mildly violent with daughter (no marks but an admission) so I was listening closely, but otherwise I let her looney behavior run its course.

About five minutes after her seemingly endless screaming rant, wife returned and told daughter in a cheerful voice that it was "time to go to grandma's" while daughter was still in tears.

No day can go by without some form of lunacy erupting in this house.

I am going to go completely dark on this nonsense for another week, at the end of which I'm going to suggest retrouvaille (thanks to the person who gave me the tip) as a last resort. When (not if) I get spat upon and told that I do not measure up to whoever wife is banging that weekend, I will consider my marriage truly hopeless. I do plan to give her a last chance.