Ok...he says he's always beeing this way...a fluxuating libido huh? yup, that's his term for it. there have been times when there's nothing for a few months and then poof 4 nights in a row then nothing again for a while. Does he ever do anything to satisfy you? sure sometimes he does but my main needs are often left unmet.
See my hubby wouldn't ever go there...unless I said something blatant. And believe me you aren't the only woman out there right now who's sick of initiating...it's tiring, and degrading to be the only one interested isn't it? Not to mention pull-out-your-hair frustrating!! I don't initiate anymore...tired of being rejected. If h would be accepting more often I would feel more comfortable initiating but...
There are several of us on this board who can definitely empathize with you. and that is why I posted
One thing I'm curious about though...and I think Honeypot brought this up too. Have you had a talk with him that states something's got to change or there will be consequences...i.e. moving to another bedroom, moving out when the kids are older etc. Whatever the consequence is you're willing to actually go through with. the consequences are futuristic. He and I both know I'm not going anywhere til the kids are grown or when I start working and another man pays me some attention.
I had that talk with my H about a year ago...I told him that I didn't marry him to be virtually celibate and that I was too young to live the rest of my life this way. If we didn't do something we wouldn't be having a 2nd anniversary. That kind of a talk. talk is cheap. H has no apparent interst in making any lasting changes. As honey pointed out the only way h does make any change is through drastic measures but those drastic measures just like nice open talks do little for lasting change.
It took my being that blunt with my H for him to see I was really serious...something had to change. I've been more than blunt.
Also, I'm assuming you've been reading some of the posts on here...what specifically have you tried out of what you have seen others on this BB try?
Quote: I've tried talking about it, I've tried not talking about it, I've tried accepting it and looking for expressions of love and affection in other ways from h, I've tried many things and I'm tired of trying...it's frustrating but I've become pretty unmotivated to try anything else.
