You need to educate his friends and yours... Staying out of it is tantamount to endorsing his wreckless behaviour... Honestly, once you reach even 21 years old people should know better.
I know they don't want to offend your H, but they need to realize speaking up is HELPING HIM... he's ruining his marriage and his family... They need to understand that. I would like to believe if you pressed them to pressure him to act responsibly they would say something to him... He has children and a wife, they just need some urging to speak up...
Don't show ANY DOUBT about his affair to them, that's enough for them to stand back... their confidence comes from YOURS.
If you tell them his spending time with her is hurting you and you would like them to say something to him I would like to believe they would do something... don't be afraid to ask for that help... educate where you feel you can.
The phone records are not particularly informative right now though.. that's the problem... without more info its hard to really conclude much from it... I would reccomend at the moment that you stop monitoring his phone records... I can't see much benefit from it...
NOW, once he tells you he isn't in contact anymore, THEN that intel is vital.
I would seek out your friends for the intel you need, and educate them on threats to marriage at the same time... Surely they must understand how harmful a married man with marital problems hanging out in private with another woman is dangerous and unhealthy.... Its got to be obvious to some of them...
