Question

[awest1217]

Actually I always knew I would keep my job, but if H doesn't come home and my salary is froze then I will have to sell the house and I do love this house because it reminds me of the house I called "home" most of my childhood. We will see soon.

Great news with S! He stayed dry all day again today and even pooped on the potty so no accidents for two days...actually today he had one small accident, but that was because he and I went out to celebrate at McDonald's (his choice) and his aunt (my sis) met us there and he was upset when she left. When he threw a fit...it just came out so I am not counting that. He has done great and I am so proud of him (and a little me too).

I text H to let him know about S and the potty because I thought he should know. (no text from him before that). He did text me back and said sorry he just did feel like talking much lately. He was not "feeling well", and he is stressed with state testing next week and he is getting evaluated this week. I am sure if I looked at the phone records he had no problem talking to OW. He also said he loves us both forever and ever...blah. Then before going to McDonald's S asked about H coming so I called to see if he had left work yet because McDonald's is by where he is living. He said he was still at work, but talked very low like he couldn't talk (at least he answered the phone). I said ok and I would talk to him later and hung up. He text me and said he knew I was mad. I just said I wasn't and that I only called because it was near where he lives and it was a celebration for S and I understand that he is too busy.

He has always been too busy. For this whole year, and even before. He is so worried about his job. Last year it was "I can't work on us because I need to keep my job". "We can work on us once the year is over". Then "Wait until school starts so I know that I won't lose my job". Then it was "I am so busy at work". Now it is "I have evaluations or istep". Next it will be something else. THere is always something. I mean is he even thinking at all about what he is going to do in 2.5 weeks. I mean I would think that would be more important than if his students pass a test. I mean if they don't know the stuff now...they won't learn it in a week. Can't you leave work at 6 and meet your S and W for a small meal because he accomplished one of the biggest things he will accomplish in his toddler years. H has missed all the big things of the toddler years. He saw the crawling, walking, and the beginning of talking, but everything since then I tell him about later. He just doesn't get it. His loss. I enjoyed getting S a couple of new things for accomplishing what he has and going out to eat to show him how proud I am. I am so very proud! We will see if H texts me again tonight to say good night, but I doubt it and I doubt I will get one tomorrow morning either. He did say can we go tomorrow, but tomorrow he has his meetings and it wouldn't have meant as much to S. S is 2.5 he needs rewards right away. Why should he wait because H is too busy....honestly I think he was doing something else and not at work, but that is just me. Just how he talked so quietly. I wonder if he was somewhere else.

One last thing for tonight...OW's H will be leaving again this time for FL Thursday and probably be gone until Tuesday of next week. I guess another week without H and without him making a decision. Oh well...I already have plans and will have fun without him again. He might surprise me, but I think he is trying to live it up with OW or is looking for apartments with her and isn't going to tell me until the last minute. He is going to keep saying "I love you" and without action it means nothing. Just words.