Moving on with my life!

[Startingover2]

Yep. Sent the text at 3:00. He came by for 5 minutes..dropped off my CS and left because he had to get on with his 'busy afternoon'.

He started telling me about allergies he has had the past few days and I cut him off and changed the subject.

[S.T. _I Made It!]

sorry SO2. this is going to be a long time, if he does, for him to figure things out. you just hang in there and be consistent, you've been doing great.

and you know, everything is going to be about him because his life sucks, he hates himself, and he's pathetic basically, so all he can think of his himself. it's sad.

[Startingover2]

So exh just came for 15 minutes this morning.

He said he wasn't positive yet, but may be moving. I thought he meant somewhere else local. He said it was 2 hours away. I asked why? He said he cant get ahead here and he wanted to change his life. I just said ok. He wouldn't tell me where. Funny thing is he won't make it working for anyone else...he wouldn't be enabled and if he drank and drove in a work vehicle like he does with this employer he wouldn't have a job. He couldn't call in sick weekly. He would have to work.

I really hope he does move! As much as I think its all talk and he is attention seeking, I would be THRILLED! To not have to deal with exh on a daily basis would be wonderful.

[Startingover2]

Feeling super down.

Baby still isn't feeling 100%. No fever, but is super clingy to me. I told my d18 that I didn't think I should go tonight to the bday dinner. Well, baby is seemingly better...at least for now. I called d18 and she already made other plans

I feel so isolated! I haven't left the house but once in 3 days since she has been sick.

I love my baby and wouldn't leave her if she was sick, but I am really bummed that I am home once again.

[Startingover2]

Yeah! I ended up going to dinner. My sweet mom watched baby while I went out. I had a great time, but missed baby so much and was so glad to see her. I sat at the opposite end of the table from exsil and said hi etc. Small talk mostly. She asked how baby was and who she was with. I did tell a little lie and said my sister.

Exh must have been drinking yesterday as he sent the same text 5 times with the last one being at 11:40 last night asking how baby was.

I really, really hope he moves. I feel partly bad for even saying that as he is baby's father but for me (and maybe even for her) him being out of our daily lives would be great. I am not holding my breath though.

[S.T. _I Made It!]

about H's move. that would be good. not just for you, but for him too. he needs to get out of his enabling sitch, and start living a life that creates boundaries and consequences. but, I would be shocked if it happened.

hey, don't tell lies, it'll only get you in trouble, and it will confirm their feelings that your mom is too old, if your hiding it, which shows you are scared for people to know she's watching her. I would be proud of your mom watching her, she probably does better than anyone else would, with all the attention she gives her. But, what you can say instead, "she's in great hands", or "a family member" or whatever, and change the subject asking a question about something she likes, or about herself. and if she eggs on, well, you may just tell her, that's not her concern. or you can say, "my mom, she is so good with her, D really loves playing with her!" and be excited about it, like it's the best thing in the world. if you act scared about it, then they are going to be even more of the mind that it shouldn't happen.

does that make sense? remember about Michelle coming off the airplane, acting as if?

[bright_new_day]

I completely agree with ST. Do not lie about who is watching the baby. I would not offer any information. You do not have a legal obligation to inform them when she is being watched, or who is watching her. Lying does make it seem like you don't think your mom watchng her is a good idea, and they will use that info. If they ask, just smile and say baby is doing fine, thank you, and move on to the next conversation!

[Startingover2]

Very true guys. I probably should have not lied. Exh hasn't said a word so maybe exsil won't say anything. Doesn't matter anyway.

Exh must have had a lonely, drinking weekend. Got alot of repeative texts. Funny though, he isn't sending any sexual or incriminating texts anymore. I think since he found out I kept some and ended up forwarding them to MGF he is careful about what he texts me now.

Oh, on Friday my phone crashed. Lost all pictures and text messages that I had been saving to use if needed. Lost the pic of his 'junk' and all the texts that made no sense and/or threatening. Hope I wouldn't have needed those anyway.

Today baby is going to that church playtime for 3 hours. I really hope she likes it and I hope I don't run into MGF either.

[Startingover2]

Baby did well today at her playtime. I also got alot of studying done.

Another cancelled visit from exh today. I think its MGF's bday. Guess it doesn't matter. Shows exh's priorities are so messed up. Good for me though. I always exhale when I know he isn't coming.

[Startingover2]

I was just adding up vistation totals for the month like my attorney wanted me to. I am amazed...

January 4 hrs 15 minutes.
February (so far) 1 hr 15 minutes.
Total 2010...5.5 hours!

He gets roughly 48 hours per month depending on how many days there are.

I am so thankful I am making complete detailed notes.