I think I'd rather be dead than this- WAW

[GH31]

Do I wait until she is served before I expose?

I probably would wait but ask Puppy and Coach for their thoughts.

Should I wait until the spousal support portion of all this gets started and then use exposure as a bargainning chip?

No.

Threatening to expose is utterly useless. This puts the cheater on maximum alert and motivates them to spin the story and beguile those to whom you would expose. The cheater tricks their family members, boss etc. into thinking it's you who is to blame and that it's you who is the bad guy.

They will say and do anything. Crocodile tears, stories of how you've hurt and abused them. Everything.

I have seen it happen time and time again and my W tried very hard to make me look bad. It didn't work though.

For maximum effect, calm exposure of an affair should come as a complete and total shock to the adulterous spouse.

Expose you must, either after she gets served or at the same time. Ask Puppy and Coach for help with the timing, but make sure you file before she does.

Originally Posted By: GH31
If you don't expose the affair to W's family first she will do this again and make you look very bad to them.

I don't get it this? Like she will cheat on someone else and I will lok bad for not telling them the first time? Or she will cheat on me again?

Sorry mate.

I used too many words when fewer would have sufficed.

You need to expose to her friends and family before she gets to spin them her side of the story, after which your task will be much harder.

She will lie through her teeth, especially to those closest to her.

Your wife has already convinced herself that you are/were the bad guy. This is in order to justify her A to herself and assuage any guilt or conscience she may have. Most cheaters know that their choices are sick and have to rationalize it to themselves somehow.

She may be in the process of telling her family, friends, boss etc about the demise of your marriage.

If so, she will not be telling them the whole truth. I strongly doubt she'll have told them about the married man she's currently banging.

She will be telling them what she needs them to believe in order to continue her A unencumbered.

Cheating wives are extremely proficient liars and manipulators.

This is why you must expose. Truth is like Kryptonite to affairs and changes the dynamic of them permanently.

I can guarantee you OMW will also have been fooled and beguiled into believing what OM wants her to believe.

Get the filing and exposure completed as soon as possible.

GH31