You really should STOP bringing up your EX's dad. And just because you and your D are "happy" with the current plan it doesn't mean that is all you need to do. Your EX is NOT happy with it so why not at least TRY and craft one that could meet all THREE of your needs instead of once again, playing the victim.
Well...let me put it this way then...my ex has D3 whenever she's not working. Any other schedule would mean D3 would not be with me or my ex at certain times because of my ex being at work. In that case that would mean that my ex's dad and his girlfriend would be the ones watching D3...assuming they arent going to the bar. I wouldnt trust those two to take care of a pet rock, let alone D3.
And CG...I've tried to make compromises and come up with plans of action with my ex in the past months...and look how that turned out. You cant play a game when someone keeps changing the rules to their liking.
Originally Posted By: MrBond
"And it still pisses me off that I have to be in counseling and on meds thanks to my ex's crap "
"It's rediculous...that one person can decide the fate of three."
It is ridiculous isn't it? It's even more ridiculous that you keep blaming her for how you're still feeling. You allow her to get to you and you still are as seen through your revenge fantasies. Like I said. I get it. We all do.
But have you addressed these issues with your C? Like your thoughts of getting back at her.
If you're referring to the tax thing, I'm still not seeing it as revenge as much as a last resort tactic to try and and discredit my ex for the purposes of blocking her from getting full or even partial custody over what she has now.
I mean if I really wanted revenge on my ex I'm sure there are a lot more and different things I could come up with.
Now that I've been tlaking about it for a day or so, I do realize that I still have some anger and resentment towards her...and even earlier tonight I had a flash of what she looked like today and that person being with OM, and it made me uncomfortable. But I dont think it's propelling revenge.
I dont trust her, and I'm not interested in getting back together with her...and when that's the case then revenge doesnt seem like a likely motive. It's only when you still care about someone that revenge for what they did to you would come into play.
Originally Posted By: Onthemountaintop
NSW...
What are the rules for custody in your state? Here in Canada, it is all about who provides the best, most stable home. Ideally, it would be joint custody as both parents could do that. If that is true about your state, the one thing we know is by "best", they look at all aspects, including how you manage your emotions. As a man, I'm guessing they'd be trying to figure out if I would ever hurt my kids in anger.
I think it's very similar here...and I would never hurt D3 in anger or any other emotion.
But to look at and judge one on how one manages ones emotions after a breakup or divorce is a bit like trying to judge someone after their arm has just been ripped off by a shark. It's not as if the person is going to be able to act like it doesnt hurt and they can just go on with life like it never happend, like they didnt really need that arm anyway.
Originally Posted By: Onthemountaintop
The problems have to end somewhere, don't they? Work them out with your IC - they seem like very deep problems that we aren't getting to. Your goal is protecting your kids, isn't it? So the best dad they can love isn't one that hates their mom.
While your W has really messed things up along with you, if you can't solve things, try hard to back out of the M softly for their sake. They love you. They love her. You love(d) her. She love(d) you.
The first sentence there had some truth to it. But the second one I dont think was ever true. You just dont do this to someone you love. As bad as my ex was at times...I did love her and I would have stuck it out til the end (or until D3 was old enough to handle it at least). Like I said, I was nothing more than a sperm donor to my ex.
I feel bad for any future kids my ex has...because if she would bring D3 into this world and split on her family, whats to say she wont do it to any future kids. What kind of life is that...and what kind of example is that setting? If you're unhappy...just leave. If everyone did that...no one would be married...because theres not one married couple that has never had a fight or disagreement on any level.
Then again...maybe thats how it should be. Society has pushed monogamy and committed relationships for centuries now. If the norm was splitting and running...then it wouldnt hurt when it happened.
But yeah OTMT when I dont get along with my ex it hurts D3. At the same time, if someon came in off the street and tried to take your child away from you, would you not fight them with your last ounce of strenght to keep them from succeeding?
