Pls help--confused and fearful

[Day by Day]

dBD, at this point, do not ever assume he i being nice for any other reason than lrgal strategy...sorry to sound cynical, but keep that guard up!
So since you changed your focus, do you see your kids' attitudes changing too? I mean do you think they noticed your changes?

newmama, omg yes... I must keep it in mind about the legal strategy. He's being polite and even nice. Got another "good" email today. I gotta be strong and not get weak over these crumbs of new civility. argh. It's what I've been wanting, but I *cannot* read into it--as YES, it's because of legal strategy... this week we might agree to my temp support or it goes before a magistrate to decide.

I guess the kids attitudes have changed. I've told them to avoid conflict with him as it will get them nowhere fast with him. I've explained to them the traits of a narcissist and what the advice is on dealing with one. They completely agree that he is and can now even laugh about the stupid things he does instead of getting frustrated. Understanding this about him is helping them as unfortunately they will have to deal with that in their R with him too.

[Day by Day]

Oh, and STBX was texting me a few times over the weekend. Luckily, he wasn't fighting and was informing me of what the plan was for D13 being left at the mall. That was a change for him to be contacting me more often esp on his weekend with them.

STBX got jealous when D13 called me to let me know she placed at the county science fair and shared her excitement with me. Of course she'd want to share it with me... I'm very proud of her and I care--he has been an absent dad. D13 had also listed me in her acknowledgements for supporting her on her project. D13 also mentioned he wanted her to list him on her FB as her dad since I'm on there and her brother too. He's feeling left out... well, yeah, he did it to himself.

[chatterbug]

Just checking in on how your day is going.

[Day by Day]

Thanks for checking CB. Just trying to balance myself after how strange it feels to not be dealing with The Hulk (STBX) and that he's being non-combative right now. Has me disoriented. I should be on-guard instead.

I don't expect to hear anymore from STBX this week since he's out of the country for work. So now I can regroup and continue moving on...

Rest of my day going well, thanks. Studying...

[blownaway65]

You have another exam coming up ?

[Day by Day]

Yes I do... more anatomy... a big lab practical exam.

Having to point out where foramen spinosum, zygomatic bone, coronoid fossa, medial epicondyle, fovea capitis, etc. are along with id'ng tissues! Fun, fun, fun.

[blownaway65]

Easy, Base of the Skull, Cheek Bone, Humerus, Femur or Humerus and Femur again. I love Google, but I don't suppose you can take it into the Exam !

Good Luck with it.

[chatterbug]

keep moving forward DbD.

[Day by Day]

Checking in...

Probably won't be posting more here in this thread as I am DONE... finally. I've been lurking for a while in Surviving the Big D. I've accepted that that is where I am... surviving the divorce process. I am not going to try to stop a divorce if I could. Valentine's Day TMs from STBX and the message from OWXH really knocked me down for awhile. I'm grateful for the kind nudges from CB to keep moving forward. I am finally moving forward. Picked myself up and dusted off.

I have to go to a temporary support hearing this Thursday and will be seeing STBX for the first time in several months. I'm not looking forward to this at all. I'll be questioned by his L on my expenses. Ugh. This will not be easy. But I hope to finally get the financial support due to the kids and me.

I just want this all over with. I am done with any thoughts of a R. STBX is a man I don't want in my life anymore. I'm disgusted that he is a man that had an affair with a married woman, broke up their marriage & family and ours, devastated our children and he only cares about making himself “happy”. MLC/mental illness, whatever excuse... I don't care anymore. Any love I had left for him is gone. I loved the person I thought he was and I've been grieving that loss. He's gone. I don't want a man with the kind of character he's shown. I am DONE. It's not just that the A is now a dealbreaker... it's how he's been towards me.

I'm glad I've had these several months to emotionally detach and now have a clear head to go through with the D. At least postponing the D has helped with that.

Springtime coming... symbolic of a new life and renewal—how appropriate. I'm going to survive.

[Day by Day]

Thanks to everyone for their support through all this...