And what her father does has little bearing on her parenting style.
true but since D3 would be living over there with him, it could be an issue as far as the environment D3 is in. I mean living with two people who knowingly defrauded the government for years isnt exactly a pleathora of role models.
Originally Posted By: CityGirl
And if your ex does "stuff" like you mentioned "all the time" why not purchase what your D DOES need then ask your ex for 50% reimbursement. That is the high road then you won't have to worry about your D having the wrong size stuff.
Actually thats how we did stuff when she and I were together. We always each paid 50% of the bill of any of D3's necessities.
Again, you are thinking like an angry EX and not with good sense.
Your EX hasn't been living with her dad "for years". As per you, she only moved in with her dad when she left you about 3.5 months ago. So, was she living with YOU while taking pay under the table since you said she has been doing it for years? If so then how can you say it is wrong when she does it when she is living with her dad but not wrong when (if) she did it while living with you? If you are SO concerned about your D living with somebody that "defrauded the gov" then why are you only wiling to bring it up now that a custody issue is in place. In other words... if your EX came back to you or didn't fight you on custody it would probably be okay but now that you are fishing for something "bad" it becomes an issue.
Like I said... if you think it was wrong why did you NOT say something before now?
Do you honestly think that during a CUSTODY FIGHT it won't be identifiable who gave an anonymous tip?
So, was I correct? Your EX was also defrauding the gov. while living with you and somehow that was suitable for your daughter to be around UNTIL your EX cheated on you and moved out and *now* it's your defense?
And your other angle is to paint her as an unfit parent because she has an OM when you and her were never married in the first place yet you post on a public message board you are dating? And the socks and pull ups.
All that BS when there are MUCH better and necessary things to be doing to rectify the custody issue?
And, think of this.... if you did take the crazy route of an anonymous tip it would still come out that you were condoning this behavior because her "books would be opened" and it would be visible that she was in fact doing this while living with you. It wasn't an issue to you then or not enough of an issue to report it but it is now?
So giving an anonymous tip really wouldn't do much good now would it? Either way the time lines will come out. Again, I think you need a better attny if he/she is feeding you all these ideas.
And your other angle is to paint her as an unfit parent because she has an OM when you and her were never married in the first place yet you post on a public message board you are dating? And the socks and pull ups.
spending 2 hours with someone one night is hardly "dating"...and when it does get to the point of "dating"...until it's serious, which may never happen, I plan only only doing it when D3 isnt around. I'm not gonna have D3's head be even more messed up because theres a new person sitting in "mommys seat". And the other thing is I wasnt involved with this person that I've spent all of two hours with before my ex and I split up. So it isnt as if anyone I see from here on out is breaking up my family or would be keeping it from getting back together.
Originally Posted By: CityGirl
All that BS when there are MUCH better and necessary things to be doing to rectify the custody issue?
I am simply pointing out how ridiculous and vindictive you sound.
And you still haven't answered my question about your EX and if she was defrauding the gov. while living with you and why it wasn't an issue then.
What better could you be doing? Have you found a C for your D yet that specializes in separation and young children? Have you attempted to craft a formal parenting plan to submit to your attny for a potential outcome that might be more favorable than submitting anonymous tips and bitching about diapers and socks? Have you made a list of goals and issues that you need to address with your C? You know, any of that good stuff?
When she was getting this "under the table" money, didn't you benefit as well? I mean, even if she used it to help to buy diapers, clothes and things, you are a part conspirator. So even if you did put in an anonymous tip, you're essentially opening yourself up to litigation as well.
They are going to look at your books as well. Everything that you've purchased, car, house, books, whatever would come into play because you lived together.
I really do feel for you. We all do. We understand the pain of rejection and how much we would have wanted some kind of justice or remorse against our partners. But you gotta look at the bigger picture.
Look at how to get custody of your D if that's what you want and not because you want your W to suffer not having her D. Fix your place up and make it a "home".
M-43 W-40 2D - 9 and 5
Emotion, yet peace. Ignorance, yet knowledge. Passion, yet serenity. Chaos, yet harmony. Death, yet a new life.
And you still haven't answered my question about your EX and if she was defrauding the gov. while living with you and why it wasn't an issue then.
she's been doing it since I met her (and her father long before that), which was when she first lived at her dads house, then she moved in with me, and then she moved back there.
Originally Posted By: CityGirl
What better could you be doing? Have you found a C for your D yet that specializes in separation and young children? Have you attempted to craft a formal parenting plan to submit to your attny for a potential outcome that might be more favorable than submitting anonymous tips and bitching about diapers and socks? Have you made a list of goals and issues that you need to address with your C? You know, any of that good stuff?
I havent found a C for D3 yet...
The only parenting plan I want right now is what is already in place. I'm perfectly happy with the way things are and so is D3. The only one who isnt happy with it is my ex and her dad.
As far as the goals with my C, the main ones I laid out with him last time are remaining emotionally stable and my desire to function independently/learning the skillls required for that.
And it still pisses me off that I have to be in counseling and on meds thanks to my ex's crap and D3 may have to go into as well when none of it was necessary before any of this started. Like I said...we're nothing more than "collateral damage" to her. It's rediculous...that one person can decide the fate of three.
