now see this is what happens (and yes I'm well aware of the fact that this is the role I play in the cycle) h and I are to go out tonight, testing out a new babysitter. because it has been OVER 3 weeks since "anything" and we have gone out in that three weeks I don't really want to go out with him tonight. In fact I feel like just going off to the movies by myself or shopping by myself or just getting in the car and driving by myself.
But instead I go...I put on a happy face...make small talk and perhaps enjoy myself and realize I made the right decision for going anyway...but then the kicker...I start to feel like we are connecting like things are warming up that perhaps there will be "something" when we get home and then again I am dissapointed.
Oh well...tis the price we pay I guess. Suppose I should just be happy to go out with h for an enjoyable evening and leave it at that. Who needs sex anyway .
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