Start of the end..

[Gardener]

iwitw,

My life could not get more surreal at times than if I were in a Hitchcock movie...my L kicked her L and STBXW out of his office..

Surreal is right. Good Lord. At least you apparently selected a lawyer with some Testicular Fortitude.

This is going to drag out and get really ugly, when I don't even want that.. and I am not even being spiteful to her.

Why does it always seem to have to become...such...Madness?!?

I just want out of this with some of my hide intact

You'll come out with more than just some of it.
More importantly, you will come out of this with your integrity intact.
Hang in there, iwitw.
Endure.