Treese, Only a very few MLCers will go for counseling and that is generally to please the spouse and then off they go to do their own thing. Those that are sincere are the ones very, very close to finishing their crisis.
As for your h, let him go completely. This means physically, emotionally, mentally and spiritually. He's been gone a long time and now you have to completely cut the ties and allow man/child to live out his fantasy w/the ow. You need to take care of yourself and your children. You have a daughter who is getting married and she needs your attention and support.
You need to start thinking like a single woman and plan out your future w/o him. If he should reappear at some point, that is when it will be up to you as to what you want. However, for now, let him go and look to your future and the future of your children for now.
P.S. DO NOT TAKE OWNERSHIP FOR THE BLAME HE'S SHOVELING ON TO YOU ABOUT HIS RELATIONSHIP W/HIS CHILDREN.....THIS IS HIS PROBLEM!
