Yep, it sucks when you think about the future you were supposed to have with your partner and realize that it's not going to happen. It's completely normal to be sad and angry about that. I'm so happy to hear that you can recognize your down moments and handle it before it spirals into something bigger.
Dinner and dancing--woo hoo!! That's definitely good GAL. Did your sister give you any good shoes? Pregnant women's feet swell and sometimes change size...:) And some primping is definitely in order. I could use some myself, my nails are thrashed.
What kind of countertops did you get?
If you love somebody, set them free. http://tinyurl.com/2empx2g
So I took my relationship status off my FB page. Who knew something so simple would make me so sad. I also blocked H from seeing my photos and status updates. I can't bring myself to totally unfriend him. He changed his stuff to show he is married - but it dosen't say to me. I also texted SIL and asked her to take our wedding photos off there. Just seems inappropriate now.
I'm sooooo sad - this all seems so hopeless and I can't stand that thought. Even thought I can't stand H, the thought of no longer having my Marriage is what I'm grieving now. Not the relationship... just having crossed that hurdle in my life. Again.. those BIG things. It feels VERY public to remove my status - but important. I'm not really ready for everything to be so public, but its time to start that. Since it seems I'm not going to stop the D and that I'm starting to embrace this change its time to admit it to other people. Anyway...
Yes - Good GAL next week!! No new shoes - we've never been the same size!
Counter tops are a pretty laminate - to expensive to get anything else. I have very old tiled ones and the tiles are falling off. These try to have the "look" of granite but are WAYYYY less! They look pretty good!
Purging the bad feelings and forcing myself to move forward. We only grow when we are uncomfortable right??
T
ME28,WAH30, M 5YRS, T 7YRS ,OW/ILYBNILY/SEP 9/09 Served with D papers 6/6/10 Current
I am still doing the DB thing. I am not where you are (yet) but I have been thinking of how strange and sad it will be when I see my wife's last name and relationship status change on FB. Its seems so trivial but I know it will bother me. I wish you all the best.
mrbt
Me: 45 WAW: 45 | M22 | T25 | No Kids Nov 09 W Filed | Dec 09 Separation Mar 17 2010 Divorce Papers Signed | Divorce Hearing Cancelled Moved back home May 2010 PA Confirmed June 2010 | W left Dec 7 2010
Tal you are so right. Even though it's just a click of the mouse, it is something that's totally Public. Now it's out there for the whole world to see.
I was the same when I changed my status to Single. It hurt so much to finally come to the realization that 24 years of my life with W was gone forever. M is so much more that a bit of paper with some signatures on it.
No matter what though, we will always have the good memories of our M's, and there are so many.
I know that the future holds just as many, probably more good times and that I'll be able to look back happily on my new life when I'm old and grey(er).
The rest of our lives will be what we make of them, make it count.
Take care
H: 44 W: 42 Married: 23 years Bomb: 16/07/2009 PA Confirmed: 16/01/2010 Over it & working on ME: Feb'ish 2010
Blown Away, You are right - it is very public! But I suppose its better to be honest with myself and everyone than to hide behind denial of the situation. I'm getting better about it as the days go... the grieving process can be tough sometimes.
I had a fabulous weekend. Its amazing how busy things can get. I met someone this weekend - match.com - and he seems very nice. Maybe we will meet up for dinner soon. I have dinner/dancing tomorrow so that will be fun! I hosted family yesterday and had more people in my house last night than I've had in the last year combined! Celebrated niece and cousin's birthdays and the kids demolished my house. There was blue/pink frosting everywhere! The kids really do a great job of reminding us that life should be lighter than we make it. Didn't think about H except for one little moment - reminded me of bday party for his niece a little while back. Mostly sad about missing those kids - not H. UGH - its sad to lose the entire family that comes with the marriage. Its sad that I won't be able to keep those relationships - H has made it clear to family that they will be considered dis-loyal if we keep in contact. Oh - their choice I guess. Moved on from the moment pretty quickly so that was good.
Purged the old furniture that H picked out with new ones that I like - living room officially looks nothing like it did before - transformation complete! It looks awesome - much more contemporary. I can't wait to finish the final touches of the other rooms and have the entire house feel that way!
I'm finally settling into this new phase - its been a tough transition. I've had NC with H since the "email" last Sun. Its been very good for me mentally. The transitions aren't necessarily easier than before, but they happen faster and with less overall fallout than before. I'm dealing better and better each time something changes!
Well - back to work. Tonight I have belly-dancing class and a running workout that is my first "step" in getting ready for the 12K! Big things are happening!
T
ME28,WAH30, M 5YRS, T 7YRS ,OW/ILYBNILY/SEP 9/09 Served with D papers 6/6/10 Current
Don't forget, I want before and after pics of the house.
You guys and your running. I would start the couch potato to 5K program if I didn't have 5" of fresh snow on the ground. Keep asking BF when he's going to get that treadmill...
Stay with the NC. It's only been a week and see how you're focusing on yourself rather than H. It may feel like a long time now but it will get easier.
If you love somebody, set them free. http://tinyurl.com/2empx2g
Pearl. I had to login from my phone to yell at you... I run ev eryday in the snow! Its fun! Hat gloves coolmax gear, etc... It just has to be above 15F. Now, get off your rear!!! Hey, an excuse to buy new gear!
Talia - I can't believe you run that far. I'm so impressed! I'm thinking if I run any faster though, I might need to double bra! LoL
Me-46, D-21, S15, S13
After many years w/my head in the sand... I FILED Divorced 6/2011
The average woman would rather have beauty than brains, because the average man can see better than he can think.
Mindful - I haven't ever run that far at one time!! That's why its a good stretch goal!!! I might kill myself trying to meet this one! Oh - and I DON'T run outside! Kudos to you for running outside. I have asthma so it has to be above freezing or the air kills my lungs! I have a beautiful fancy treadmill I inherited when my best friend died. I run and think of her. Its very healing!
You GALS ROCK!!
T
ME28,WAH30, M 5YRS, T 7YRS ,OW/ILYBNILY/SEP 9/09 Served with D papers 6/6/10 Current
Oh - and I DON'T run outside! Kudos to you for running outside. I have asthma so it has to be above freezing or the air kills my lungs! I have a beautiful fancy treadmill I inherited when my best friend died. I run and think of her. Its very healing!