Thanks Pearl. I always appreciate your advice. I'll be using muni for the time being, then probably getting a new car at some point (last care old anyway, and expensive to ship x-country)
I am getting things done! I cancelled memberships, comcast, gas/electric for dates I am moving out...threw away bags of junk just no longer needed anymore..felt like a bit of spring cleaning and felt good.
Here's the dilemna about the filing stuff. While I may not be ready to prance down to the courthouse myself, I do kind of want to send H that email...spelling out on paper the tuition payback agreement, and letting him know that I did ask L about all of the forms we had to fill out. Yes it could open that discussion, but here we are in some ways anyway. I also worry that if I wait too long - and don't spell these terms out explicity - he may retract (on his agreement to pay me back). We spoke briefly on Sat about car question, and he mentioned needing to come over and get his stuff weekend before I move out. Then asked me if I wanted all the furniture (yes, I think..)
Is there harm in sending it? In some ways isn't it manning up myself a bit more, not letting him cake-walk too much anymore? Isn't the 'gucci' method more along lines of pushing things along? I know there are so many approaches, and sorry if I'm not 'getting it'. As I do move forward with my life, and start to date others - I feel like it might hold me back if I stay married indefinitely. Funny how people are: I recall a convo H and I had back in Sept, where he said he wanted to move ahead with D, and then said to me: "so are you not going to file?" Yes he wanted it and yes he expects me to do it.
Things will turn out as they should I guess. Some days I don't think about as much and really don't care about pressing the filing, and others - more lately - I feel like I'm wanting a fresh start if this is happening anyway. Do you think there's any harm in sending the email just spelling out tuition stuff we had agreed upon (timing of payment, in writing) and that I got the ?s answered (these were questions HE asked ME to run by the L, mind you)? Yes it could get ball rolling but also could let him know I won't put up with this WAS/limbo anymore? (more a la gucci method, and some past advice you've shared as well).
Maybe I am overthinking this all too much. I am trying to get my ducks in a row. I feel like I am getting there, it's just hard to take action.. When you kicked BF out Pearl, you were really really done at the time? (By that point you did not care if your actions formally ended it, b/c you were already done, right?) Just curious, as I feel like I'm getting there.. Peace to all, and keep me posted on how things are going for you! Kindly, hhh
