Oh Gno! What is going on?

[mishka422]

Hmmmmm....interesting. Interesting indeed.

[rockedworld]

Wow, interesting indeed...

Does her statement impact you at all?

[Gnosis]

Feedback Update (Part 1 of 2)

your take on detachment is spot on <SNIP>
I have pasted and copied your words for future use JIC others ask me to explain it. Along with S2 (drop the rope) I believe I have the proper info to pass around.<SNIP>
I will be passing this around as I believe it will help all and I know you can not get to everyone here...

Thanks Pat, you're very welcome to pass it on. If it helps anyone that's OK by me. Pay it forward all the way.

Makes all the sense in the world!

I'm glad Gman.

Gnosis, your note helps me. I am at a place where detachment is necessary for my emotional well-being and I appreciate how you explained the nature of the process.

You're welcome Flow. I wish I had time to read yours and everyone's threads here. I'll give you my take on the rest of your question later.

Isn't the hardest part knowing when to detach? Is it when you've moved out, filed, and are weeks away, or is it earlier?

OTMP, there is no "knowing when." IMHO one must start working on detachment the moment the bomb is dropped. I view ILYBINILWY as a declaration of independence from your M. Some M's can be saved others can't. This is ONE of the many reasons why you need to start ASAP. The more detached you are the more you are able to make rational decisions.

I can see how it ....

WA, because your question was tied to Flow's I'll come back to you.

I know what the root of all evil is.

Cutter... hmmm... OK... I can't let this one pass me by...
The Catholic Nuns refer to it as that attachment between a man's legs. Big root or little root... it doesn't matter, it's EVIL!

[Gnosis]

Feedback Update (Part 2 of 2)

Status: It looks like she's entering the first stage of remorse

Is this good or bad?

It's good. The seeds of doubt are starting to germinate. It gives her pause for thought to see if this is really what she wanted.

what stage of remorse was that I wonder?

No stage of remorse there V. When it started she quashed it with justification for her actions.

Give her something to worry about- when there's no net it's a lot higher than you think.

Maynard, I'm not playing games. I'm the WAS now. She has plenty enough to worry about and I take no pleasure in it. These are consequences as per her request.

Hmmmmm....interesting. Interesting indeed.

Wow, interesting indeed...
Does her statement impact you at all?

RW the only thing it does is at the moment is perhaps make me blink. The first steps towards reconciliation have not even been taken yet.

[Gardener]

The Catholic Nuns refer to it as that attachment between a man's legs. Big root or little root... it doesn't matter, it's EVIL!

Wow, nine years of being taught by Dominican Nuns and even I never heard that one!
(Heard a lot of similar intimations, mind you, but not that!)

[Quart9]

I wrote this for my FB page and thought I'd add it into my thread for the benefit of those not in the alt.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Be prepared for the journey you need to take. Nothing that I say or do will make a difference. Only when YOU can find the strength that's within you AND are ready to face possible consequences AND accept them... THEN, and only then, will you be ready.

Fear is something that CAN be overcome and IS necessary to confront. Only when you can get past that... point in your life... can you continue living... and it nearly always turns out better than expected

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Just read this in your thread. Thank you very much! I needed to read/hear this.

[Gardener]

gno, I must've missed this extrapolation the first time around. Excellent!

Stolen from Puppy:

To me, she sounds like she's still in Stage 2 in what I call the 4 Stages of Remorse:

I do think your wife is in one of the stages of remorse, but there are several stages. They'll go from "I'm sorry I got caught," to "I'm sorry for ME that I've messed myself up so much," to "I'm sorry for YOU that I hurt you (but I still don't see anything wrong with what I did)," to finally a more self-aware "I'm sorry for what I did because IT WAS THE WRONG THING TO DO, on so many levels. For me, for the pain I caused my husband, for the breaking of my vows, etc."

The above is tied to infidelity. My extrapolation is this:

1) I'm sorry I asked for D
2) I'm sorry for my mistakes
3) I'm sorry for YOU that I hurt you
4) I'm sorry for what I did because IT WAS THE WRONG THING TO DO, on so many levels

Or something similar to that.

[SweetCyborg]

Yeah, this was powerful. You are impressive in your ability for self-knowledge and work and still have a heart.

You can post on my wall anytime!

[luvless]

Yeah, this was powerful. You are impressive in your ability for self-knowledge and work and still have a heart.

You can post on my wall anytime!

agreed

[soleil]

Hi Gno. I am just checking in on your thread. Has Mrs. Gno made any other attempts to contact you?

Hope this post finds you well.