Maybe these H are not idiots but anyone who purposefully makes there life hell my not doing something that they are fully capable of is not of the highest intellect. "When I slam my head into the wall it hurts but I think I will do it again and again and again". "When I hurt my W she is unhappy and that usually makes me unhappy". So why do they keep hitting their head if they are so smart. When I was here two years ago I kept hearing about forgiveness being a choice. In my eyes so is passion, desire, and caring. These men are choosing for their M to be like this. That is screwed up and who would want to be around them. Am I being hard on them? You bet ya! My W is as stubborn, defensive, and non-talkative as most H but she gave up some pretty "hard" positions on some issues to allow our M to work. Why did she do it? She wanted to, plain and simple. She "chose" to improve what was lacking in our M as did I.
I know it sounds like I am really pushing ultimatums but at some point the suffering has to stop. Is it savable if you remain patient? Maybe, depends on who you ask. Dr. Laura says no. She says SSM are doomed. I really hate seeing people hurt and these sitchs just seem to agonize on and on. If you are strong enough to survive "status quo", good for you. I mean that. Personnally, I am a demanding guy who wants a lot out of life and I don't settle. Sorry, but patience is one virtue I am truly lacking in. Good luck to all.
