mb, I really hope your therapist understands infidelity! Itis crucial! no exaggeration. If not, it would be like seeing an ear, nose and throat doctor for lymphoma....could make the situation worse by not treating the source.
mb, I want to reinforce allen's and nm's advice! They will all say they have experience with infidelity. What they may not mention, is their experience has been court-ordered with couples divorcing! Ask questions before you go. Call now, if you haven't asked about the type of therapies they use. If they are not familiar with "Not Just Friends", but know of Janis Abrhams Springs (After the Affair) or even Baucom, Snyder, Gordon (Helping couples Get Past the Affair) they may be ok and pro-marriage and realize the necessity of NC. (if they have addiction experience as well, all the better!) If they suggest Emily Brown, run! Her theory is very narrow. I don't believe she is pro-marriage and tends to bash and lay a lot of blame at the feet of the betrayed spouse. IMHO! (We went to one of these, a LCSW, and she wanted to get the three of us together to help H decide which R to end!!! Can you say "quack like a duck"!)
If you can, try to find one familiar with Solution-based Therapy. Emotionally Focused Therapy is helpful too but maybe for later...it is focused on your relationship instead of all the others you have had since day 1.
I think his realization that his thinking is muddy and he's over-focused on the negative is a great step for him!
Hugs
"If you strike me down, I will become more powerful than you can possibly imagine!" 1st thread
