Agreed all. Boundary will be set. I'm not going to talk to him until he can be respectful. If he can't, then I'm going dark. I keep searching for how I can stop triggering him but he is not caring how he triggers me and then gets mad at me for my feelings. I have been doing a stellar job and he has done a few small changes but they are way behind. For him to say this R doesn't feel safe is just not my fault any more. I have made the changes. then if I make one tiny mistake it's "See? See?" This is BS.
I'm scared to be alone. I'm scared to have S around this man who is showing him how to treat women badly. My S has been ordering me around lately and it has been a huge struggle to continue setting boundaries with him. Just like with H. It's so awful that H can't see what he is destroying - both mine and my S's mind and emotions.
I was the one abused as a child and I'm terrified my s is going to get some of the same issues. I'm the one that is triggered when my H yells and puts me down because of how I was raised. I would have an easier time setting boundaries if I hadn't had that upbringing. As for H's childhood I don't know. I do know his mother says his father was abusive - physically, emotionally, verbally. Of course that's her side. I just don't know. H always said he wanted to be different. He's not.
